Why a Covering? (Headship Order)

Preacher

Jon Hochstetler

Date
Feb. 21, 2024
Time
00:35

Transcription

Disclaimer: this is an automatically generated machine transcription - there may be small errors or mistranscriptions. Please refer to the original audio if you are in any doubt.

[0:00] Good evening to everyone. It's good to be here. Glad for all that came out tonight. I know we had mentioned that to bring your books, the next subject that we had was, the next doctrine was the Christian woman's veiling.

[0:25] And we'll probably look at that some. The book, I mean, but if you can give me the grace and the privilege to just maybe share a message on that subject.

[0:45] Somebody had asked me just recently, or mentioned that they'd like to hear on that again, or hear a message on the veiling and why we wear it and so on.

[0:56] And so I was thinking about that, and then here the next lesson is actually on that subject. And so as I was preparing a little bit and so on, I ended up, I'll just tell you, I found notes from about five years ago when I preached on that.

[1:21] And so I went and started into that and the last couple of days and just feel like the Lord wants me to share that. And it's, I've modified the notes a lot today and to try to, you know, what's on my mind and heart now versus maybe back then there were some specific things that, that I had shared that were maybe more for then as far as, yeah, the things I shared.

[1:53] But anyway, so I like to just preach a message tonight on, on this subject. And it's not, what I'm finding is that the more I look into it, the deeper it is.

[2:06] And it's not just, just, you know, there's only what, part of a chapter here that, you know, in 1 Corinthians 11 and you can turn there if you'd like.

[2:17] But, but it's a really deep subject and I started, you know, for example, let's go to, to that chapter and the first verse that we'll probably come to, I know it's bright in here, but it seems a little hard to read for some reason.

[2:38] It's a little dimmer up in this end maybe. I'm not using that anyway. So let me find the verse here. Verse 3.

[2:54] You know, you start in on this subject and verse 3 says, but I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ. And you read that line or two and then you start thinking about that.

[3:08] What is that saying? And anyway, I don't know how it is for you, but for me, before I know it, I have a whole bunch of thoughts on that, just that. So, so that's where I think we're going to go tonight is just look at some of those things that lead up to what today is considered the doctrine of the headbealing.

[3:35] Christian woman's covering. and it's a lot more than just that, just as far as, you know, if that's all we do and we don't really believe the rest of the story in that, in that scripture, then, then we're really missing out a lot.

[3:55] So, I would like to just, yeah, let's just pause and ask the Lord to be with us tonight. Father, we ask that you would be here. Father in heaven, the creator of the universe, the one that gave order to everything you created.

[4:11] Lord, we come to you tonight. We worship you. We ask you, God, to just be with us here. Lord, that you would just give us open hearts, open minds that will receive your word with joy and gladness.

[4:28] God, I pray that you'd help us to embrace your word and love your word. Father, I pray that you could just use me, Lord, as your vessel.

[4:39] Lord, that you would just speak through me and give us clear thoughts, clear mind tonight as we look into your word. We pray this in Jesus' name.

[4:51] Amen. And, yeah, I want to be sure, be clear that, you know, the purpose of the message is not to cause any arguments on this doctrine.

[5:09] You know, there's really, there aren't any arguments. I mean, you can argue, but Paul said, we don't, we don't have contention about this subject. That's already been settled in 1 Corinthians 11 when Paul said that.

[5:23] We don't become contentious over this issue. And this subject was established in the Bible and God's word does not need our assistance to be true.

[5:37] And, you know, there are some elements, I'm sure there's elements of this doctrine that, this teaching that I don't understand fully. I know that. I'll say that right up front.

[5:50] The reason I know that, one reason is because as years go on, we learn things, we learn deeper things throughout the word that, you know, we didn't fully understand and we still don't.

[6:03] So, so I don't want to come across that way. But there are some things that we can get a hold of and understand clearly. I'm sure you've been asked, ladies, you know, why do you wear that thing on your head?

[6:22] You know, at least some of you older ones have. And, what are, what are you? Right? So, why the covering? And what is headship order?

[6:36] And, you know, we should be able to answer these questions. And part of the reason I think that, that sometimes we can't answer these questions is because we lack teaching.

[6:49] We lack looking at it. We lack, I know, I'll just share this. I think it was before we were married or right early married. I asked my wife, I'll just expose this now, but I asked my wife if she knows why she wears a head covering.

[7:10] And she knew it was because it was the church standard. But outside of that, right, you had no idea. Somewhere in the Bible, yeah, so that's, we just do it.

[7:22] That's just how we do. But the real purpose or the heart of God in it was never explained. So, part of that lies within the church body or the church elders, the leaders, to teach on this from time to time.

[7:40] Sometimes we assume things. We think, well, we know this, so our younger ones will just automatically follow without teaching it. And so, it's very important that we teach all the doctrines in the Scriptures and the New Testament especially.

[7:58] And we just skip over these things and we miss the heart of God. You know, it reminds me this thing I just described, you know, as far as doing something but not really, you know, that itself is not the real, how would you say, the heart of the issue.

[8:19] It's a little bit like baptism. You know, we baptize people, people come, they get baptized and it's not, we know it's not going into the water, right?

[8:31] It's symbolic of a deeper thing. Something that, you know, we know it's about the new birth experience and a life that's been set free, a life that's been changed, a life that's been just completely transformed and all things have become new.

[8:48] But if you just look at the baptism, you don't know that. We assume that because that's what happens, right? But just the baptism alone isn't going to do that for you.

[9:02] And so, I would say just the head covering alone without any other purpose besides like I just described with my life, we miss the whole point, really.

[9:15] So, the greater purpose. It speaks of God's divine order and headship.

[9:31] It speaks of the man's role as well as the woman. It speaks of a submission, I'm sorry, of a submission to her head and also to his head.

[9:42] It is the outward sign that we accept this order, the order that God has set for his people and his kingdom.

[9:54] Are we willing to signify this powerful truth to the world around us and to the angels? We'll read about the angels as well. And, you know, and I want to bless everyone that is willing to do this.

[10:12] You ladies that do this faithfully. That's a blessing. That's, you know, we don't have a debate or an argument about it, you know, it's just something that you do and I want to bless you for that.

[10:25] Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. And sometimes it may not be easy, but remember God's commandments are not grievous.

[10:43] There is great joy in simply obeying our Savior, the head, the true head of the church. And hopefully, hopefully we can get to a place through this that we have a deeper appreciation to what the Scripture is saying.

[11:01] And like I said earlier, Paul said, there's no debating the subject, but rather just to teach it, the principle and the purpose of it.

[11:16] And you know, when I say we don't debate it, there are times that you have to address false doctrine.

[11:27] There are times where you have to speak about false teaching. So I'm not saying that we don't do that, but I think you understand what I'm saying.

[11:39] There are also people that have sincere questions about these teachings. And some have close family members that used to practice it but no longer do.

[11:51] and some people may be the only one in their family that has accepted this teaching and therefore it's a cross for them to bear.

[12:02] I've had many friends over the years that that was the case. Nobody else in the family understood the teaching, never heard of it really and here is this family.

[12:15] And that was the thing that was a cross. And then some of us others, the opposite was true. If we'd get rid of it, he'd have a cross to bear. So I want to say that just because of that alone, that's not a reason to do it or not do it.

[12:37] Just because there's a cross involved if you do this or that. But to really look into the Word of God and to find God's heart in it, that's what our focus should be.

[12:49] What is our approach? Should we be legalistic to others in our approach? Should we demand it in a way that for those that don't understand it or are seeking?

[13:08] I believe we should walk in freedom and enjoy through all this and walking in God's way with great joy and grace. Because, sure, we may demand it for ourselves, but, you know, because we believe in it.

[13:24] But what I'm saying is we can come with this any doctrine, really, in the Bible and just have a spirit of law about it where it is just absolute, the law, and we have no grace.

[13:41] We have less grace than God, put it that way. Once we get to that place where we have, where we know better than God, than what we teach is actually ineffective and it works against us.

[13:57] But rather to encourage, to inspire, to consider what the Bible teaches with an open heart. And we will never be more blessed than when we embrace God's Word, His truth, and the teachings of the New Testament.

[14:17] At the same time, we will never be more empty or more lonely and confused than when we willfully reject the truth of God's Word. See, that's a different story.

[14:29] If somebody willfully rejects truth versus somebody that's actually open to the truth and seeking, that's what I was talking about earlier.

[14:40] People that are seeking and that are open. I wish all Christians in the whole world would actually accept this teaching. the teaching and the practice.

[14:51] And by the way, this doctrine is not a new doctrine. This was a doctrine in the church for centuries after Jesus was here, after Paul wrote it to the Corinthians.

[15:08] For many generations, right up into the 1900s, and we could talk about that as well. I'm not going to go there. I don't have that with me, but I have seen a lot of studies done on that, on the church and their teachings on this subject.

[15:26] But it's only in the past century or so that churches have pretty much left this teaching along with some other doctrines of the New Testament. Here, a few years ago, I was told that the only reason we practice this in our churches is due to our background and tradition.

[15:46] And I hope that's not true for any of us because there's such a deeper meaning than just tradition or culture or a background.

[15:57] and there's no real reality in that for just like our experience was. There was no reality.

[16:07] Like, she couldn't minister about the subject at all back then. And I realized she wasn't born again even, but that's what it was.

[16:19] It was just a culture, just a tradition, just a background. There's no life in that. the Bible, the real true meaning was missing.

[16:36] But I believe that it's more than just a cultural thing. In fact, Paul, there in Corinthians, he makes that very clear when he refers to creation, actually.

[16:51] And he brings creation into this picture as one of the reasons for this teaching. So every culture since beginning of time is connected to creation, right?

[17:05] And into God's order. So this teaching is for every culture, every background, for those that are born again and in the Christian faith.

[17:20] And here's the teaching. That a Christian woman would cover her head and a Christian man would not. You know, for religious reasons.

[17:36] What was Paul's background? He was a Jew, right? So did he not, do you think he covered, he had like one of those little, I don't know, we don't read that, but very likely he did.

[17:50] But then he taught this lesson, this doctrine, and said not to wear that religious symbol. And yet today we have many, I'm just going to tell you this right away.

[18:02] Here a few years ago I was sitting at a restaurant here and and there was two couples and they prayed before they ate.

[18:14] That always blesses me when people pray before they eat their food. You know, tells you something about the person, doesn't it? But both men left their hats on and both ladies had nothing on their head.

[18:30] And I just remember thinking, wow, they must not have been taught this this doctrine, this principle. Very likely they never heard it or paid any attention to it.

[18:43] You know, we leave that in God's hands, but it was opposite of what we would believe, right? So let's look at verse 3 here again, move on, where Paul says, but I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.

[19:05] Can somebody bring me a glass of water? Maybe, Mike. So interestingly here in this verse, God first addresses the man before the woman in this order of headship.

[19:27] and why is that? He first addresses the man and that's why I didn't want to just start talking about, you know, the ladies and the head covering, but there's something in here for the men and what is it?

[19:44] because if a man is not in his right place, if the man, if I can say it that way, if the man is not in his right place, thank you, in this order of headship, nothing else on this subject can flow the way God intended it to because he's first in the lineup.

[20:18] It's Christ and God, but then it's, when it comes to earth, if you will, it's the man. And so, if that is out of line, then the rest can't flow either.

[20:35] So man, I'm going to just ask us this, to challenge us. Are we truly under the headship of Christ?

[20:47] Think about what a head is. What does it mean to be the head? The disciples refer to Jesus as master when he was here.

[20:59] He was their master. He was their head. He was their authority. He was their guide. He led them. He was everything to them.

[21:12] Is Christ my head as a man, as a husband? Are we men totally committed to his headship and authority in our lives?

[21:25] Or is someone else taking that role in our life? Maybe it's ourselves. Maybe it's our own interest. Our own will. And maybe we need to turn from those things.

[21:40] Maybe we need to repent and actually make Christ our true head. Jesus' disciples knew who their head was. Their master, their rabbi.

[21:52] and they were submitted to him. Let me ask us this. How many men have demanded that their wife and their daughters submit to them while they are completely unsubmitted to their head who is Christ and to other authority in their lives?

[22:16] And this is not what God's looking for. You know, men can, it's easy for man to say, oh, well, the Bible says you should submit. Right?

[22:27] And we point to other people, you should submit. But what about me? Am I, and that's a question I had to ask myself. How submitted am I to Christ?

[22:37] Is he truly, would Christ say that he's my head? If you could ask him, you can put your name, I can start calling your names, but put your own name in there, as men.

[22:53] What Jesus say is his testimony that he is head of your life. Because if he isn't, if that's not true, then we're not in the position where we need to be.

[23:10] In fact, we're not in the position to be the head of our wife. We are, let me rephrase that.

[23:24] We're in the position as a married man, but we're not in the condition. We're not in the right condition to be the head.

[23:36] There's a difference. Excuse me. This is not what God is looking for.

[23:48] He is looking for surrendered men that are totally sold out to the Lord Jesus. Now, in this whole thing, this whole God's order thing, I question or I suggest tonight that we may, as men, we may have the greater calling to this subject of submission.

[24:13] Because not only are we called to submit, and I realize it's only like one verse here, Christ. Well, it mentions it again a time or two, but that Christ is the head of the man.

[24:26] And so often we skip through these verses and we just think it's about the covering and we forget. Wait a minute, there's something in this for me as a man. And I believe that we may be called not only as a head in our homes, but we're also called to be an example.

[24:53] So, not only do we need to submit to Christ and to our authority, but we are also called to be an example to others.

[25:03] So, perhaps, you know, as we were thinking about having this study on the head covering and God's order, perhaps we need to take away us men, young men, old, whatever we are, that we have a call to submission, a great call to submission.

[25:24] Are we doing that? After all, Christ is our head. the Almighty One, Christ, the God, the Creator of the universe, the Almighty God of heaven.

[25:42] And sometimes men will think that we can get away with making others submit to us with no real concern whether we're submitted to Christ.

[25:55] Christ. Lord, help us what does true submission to Christ look like?

[26:07] And you let your mind wander in this, but what is it practically? I have a few questions. Does our wife and our children, if you're married, if you're not, and you're men, you know, you could say my brothers and sisters, my mom and my dad.

[26:27] You could fill in the blank there. Do they see that we are fully surrendered and walking in submission to our head? What is their testimony of that?

[26:38] If they were 100% honest, what's their testimony? Those that are near to you. When we go to work, when we come home from work, when we make a purchase or any other financial decision, when we make choices in life, you know, just all, there's all kinds of choices.

[27:05] There's constantly, there's choices to make. What we listen to, what we watch, how we conduct ourselves, how we handle our finances, you know, and that list goes on and on and on.

[27:20] And we'll stop with that for right now. But the question is, for us men, does Christ actually have God? Does He have His rightful place in our hearts, in our lives?

[27:32] Does He rule there? Does He direct? Does He guide? Can He get our attention even and guide us?

[27:43] Of course He can. He can allow things to happen, but on a regular basis, do we cry out to Him for answers? Or do we just demand that others submit?

[28:01] What would God say about that? What does He see? After all, God's opinion is what matters. God's opinion is what really matters.

[28:13] What He sees is the truth. God's opinion is what He sees the truth. So let's take that as a challenge, men. And we'll talk now to the ladies as well.

[28:30] Who is the head in your life? Is there anything in you that resents or resists being under the headship of men?

[28:42] Your husband or your father if you're still a daughter? Is there anything in you that resents or resists?

[28:55] And I'm going to challenge you as well. I ask the men, you know, should we repent? Do we need to repent? You can repent too. We can turn from that. And that's God's grace to allow us to repent if we need to.

[29:11] To help us accept the headship that God has put in place. And I wonder how often the root of the problem in the home are simply a result of either the man or the woman being outside the order that God has established.

[29:30] And I would guess probably 99% would be the right answer. when man is not under the headship of Christ, he will often fail to follow the commands of Christ and will not take his proper role in being the head of the woman, resulting in chaos in the marriage and in the home.

[29:59] How many issues would be quickly and easily resolved if we would just get in the right position and in the right condition before God and in his order under his headship.

[30:21] But some men, all they want to do is, and I remember having to deal with this in my own life, that, yeah, I'm the head of the house.

[30:34] I get to say what goes. Right? Wouldn't that be nice? I'm in charge. And you need to listen because I'm the head.

[30:51] And you see how easy it is to get away from this thought that I am under an almighty God, and I need to be surrendered to him.

[31:01] and how selfish it is and how pharisaical it is, like the Pharisees, to lord it over and to try to get others to submit, but I won't lift a finger to submit to any of my authority.

[31:18] How unfit is that? It's not right. It's not right. It's not godly. do you remember some of you when I had shared this five years ago?

[31:39] Not quite this exact thing, but similar. And then brother Joel came up after the message and did a drawing on the board about this whole thing.

[31:51] And I'm trying to, I was trying to remember it today, what he drew, and I can't remember what it was. But he did something about the order of God, maybe some of you remember. But it fit very well, that when, you know, from the father, Christ, the man, the woman, when that is out of order, and then of course we have children, right?

[32:16] A lot of us have children, a lot of us have a lot of children. And when that order is out of order, how chaotic it becomes. And I just remember Joel doing that, and I was so blessed with that.

[32:31] Okay, I'm going to, I'm not, probably not going to get through this today, tonight, so don't worry that, you know, we'll maybe come back later and talk more, maybe on a different note or whatever, but I want to talk to you younger ones now, young men, young ladies, in case you think you're kind of out of the loop here tonight.

[32:58] But you're all wanting to grow up and move on in life too, right? What God has for you. But I want to exhort you a little bit in this as well.

[33:10] And we talked a little bit, I don't know, maybe Sunday or last week about, to some of the young men about marriage partners and things like that.

[33:20] I just want to make some comments. But when you are thinking of who you want for a marriage partner, and some of you probably are, let me tell you what I think you should be looking for.

[33:41] Girls first. What should you be looking for in a young man? I'm going to open it up. What do you think?

[33:52] Anybody? What should be one of the characteristics of a young man? Of course, godly, but maybe I should have done it the other way around when we're talking about the guys.

[34:06] But does anybody just have a quick thought on that? think about the subject that we're talking about.

[34:19] We're talking about the subject of headship order. Okay, very good. Any others?

[34:32] All to speak? Doesn't know everything. No? Good. Okay, well, that's very good, both of those.

[34:44] I want to move on for the moment here, but I think that's very true. my first thought was whether he is living under the headship of Christ.

[34:56] Has he made Jesus the master in his life? Is he that submitted that you can see that? The head of his life.

[35:07] Is he willing to submit to other men? His father, Tony mentioned parents, church brothers, etc. Or is he just independent and full of fun and self-willed?

[35:23] What kind of a head do you think that would make for your life? If he is that, then he's disqualified in making a godly husband for you and he will not be that leader that you will want to make your head, was in my notes.

[35:43] Now for the young men, is the young lady you're looking for, is she submissive? Is she that, is she glad to submit or be under authority?

[35:58] If she has a godly father, can she willingly submit to him? Does she serve Christ with a meek and quiet spirit and have the joy of the Lord?

[36:12] is that what's in her life? Would that be in her life and in your home should you get married to her?

[36:24] It's very short, but you can take some of those thoughts as, and I'm sure you have, the older ones especially, but those are some real things that matter.

[36:35] And I know a lot of people have had this thought, well, once we get married, you know, I'll change him. And then ten years later, you say, how'd that work out for you?

[36:51] Don't count on it. God can change anybody if we submit and surrender to him. But don't count on the character being changed and giving your life to that.

[37:05] Okay, let's move on to verse four. four. And we'll just look a little bit more on this. And then we'll probably just open it up after this, by the way, so if you have any comments or questions, something you want to talk about, and then we'll just end with a group prayer, I think is what we'll do.

[37:28] But there in verse four, every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonor his head. Now who is his head?

[37:42] Christ. And none of us want to dishonor Christ do we? Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

[37:53] Amen. When are we supposed to be praying or prayerful? When are we supposed to be prophesying and speaking of the Lord's goodness?

[38:08] One of the things that, you know, has been debated is that, well, it didn't mean a religious, it just means a religious, like maybe the Jews wore, it means a religious covering.

[38:24] It doesn't mean if you wear a cap or a hat or, you know, and I think there's room for weather garments. But I think even that can be overdone.

[38:36] I'll just say that, that that can be overdone. I know people that have worked indoors for years and years but always wear a hat, always covered.

[38:49] And, you know, I'm not going to judge that, like we don't judge other, you know, the ladies either. weather. But if it's all the time and no need of any weather at all, it's just because, you know, it's still not, what makes it significant?

[39:16] In other words, what makes it a covering, I guess? Does it have to be a certain thing? Anyway, we'll probably touch on that later on a little bit.

[39:27] Let's go to verse 5. But every woman, now here's the opposite, that prayeth or prophesied with her head uncovered, dishonoreth her head. Now who was the woman's head?

[39:42] Was it the man, right? for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn.

[39:53] But if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. Paul is clearly indicating, when he says, if it's a shame, he's clearly indicating that it is, right?

[40:08] I think we could agree on that, that it is a shame for a woman to be shorn. So instead, let her be covered. But you know, in our society today, if you go outside the church, just in our society in general, Christian, non-Christian, whatever, there's really nothing.

[40:33] I mean, what's shameful anymore? I mean, we can point to that. to something and say, wow, that's shameful. But in society, it's like, you can be anything you want.

[40:44] You can have any color hair you want. Whatever. But according to the Word of God, there are things that are shameful. According to Scripture, they are.

[41:00] But where do we stand? With the Bible or with culture? We could talk about when to cover.

[41:19] That's a big one for some people. When is it necessary and when is it not? Is it just for Sunday morning church service? Things like that.

[41:30] Again, those are all things that have been much debated. And we can look at the fruits of that. We can look at the history of that.

[41:42] And there are cultures that that's how they interpret it. But let's look now at, well, no, I think I'll skip these verses here.

[41:58] Let me just, give me just a minute here. Oh, I know what I wanted to read. There is a verse, as far as, you know, I just want to address this one thing yet, and then I think we might move on.

[42:13] But there's a lot of people that today will say, well, this was either just Paul's opinion or it was a cultural thing for them.

[42:26] And we did address that a little bit, that Paul used creation. He said, does not creation itself teach you? So there's creation in here, but was it just a cultural thing just for those Jews or was it just for the Corinthians or who was it for?

[42:44] But if you look at Corinthians chapter 14, you could turn there, maybe just for a couple of verses. Corinthians 14, starting in verse 33.

[43:00] It says, For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. He says, Let your women keep silence in the church, for He is not permitted unto them to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

[43:19] And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for He is ashamed for a woman to speak in the church. And maybe at some point we need to look at that as far as what context was Paul writing this.

[43:37] But then in verse 36, What? Came the word of God out from you? Or came it unto you only? If any man think himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things, here's the verse I wanted, that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.

[44:04] And it's in the same book, 1 Corinthians, that we are studying, and it's like just a couple chapters over. And the reason I wanted to point to this is that these things are not just Paul's opinions.

[44:20] They're not just cultural. It says that these things are the commandments. You might think you're spiritual, maybe you're even a prophet, but like Merlin said, slow down, don't speak so fast here.

[44:35] Let him acknowledge that the things that I'm writing are the commandments of the Lord. And so, wow, that's kind of hard to say in these days.

[44:50] These are the commandments of the Lord. It's not popular is what I'm saying. You know, and Paul has died and is long gone, but the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God that caused him to write these things, that's what it says, these things.

[45:12] He's alive. He hasn't changed his mind. He hasn't gone anywhere. He's just where he was and as alive as he ever was, as true as he ever was true.

[45:24] So let that be settled in our heart that the things that even Paul taught are the commandments of the Lord. And I think when we settle that in our heart, and that has helped me over the years, that has helped me to just stand faithful and just say, no, I'm not changing that.

[45:45] You can if you want to. I can't. I believe it's the commandments of the Lord. Because our God is not dead.

[45:59] Paul just wrote it for him. God is alive. And he's alive. Who is your head? Are we in that order that God has called us to walk in?

[46:18] Or are we we need some adjustment in our lives? I know from time to time I need that.

[46:29] I need to just come before God and say, God, I've failed. I've not been fully submitted to you. There's things that I've done, choices I've made that wasn't with his blessing.

[46:42] Just those types of things. You know, is he truly in my head? Or will I willfully just walk away, walk a path, and say, I don't care what anybody thinks.

[46:55] I've got this and I don't need to submit to you or anyone else or God. That's a dangerous place.