[0:00] But I just felt I needed to stay for today, even in spite of some of my physical issues.
[0:14] And so it's good to be with you. In search of truth, and in our search of truth, sometimes we do get off a little bit.
[0:34] We get off track a little bit here and there. But our God is faithful to bring us back as we get off. And if our heart is truly for truth, and in love with truth, then for sure He will make sure that we get back on track.
[0:52] He is faithful. That's another thing that I wrote down. God's faithfulness in God's goodness. I want to turn to Psalm 18.
[1:06] Just a few verses. Psalm 18, 1-3.
[1:19] I will love Thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my strength, in whom I will trust, my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
[1:39] I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised. So shall I be saved from mine enemies. And then, chapter 34 of Psalm.
[1:57] I'm just going to read the whole chapter. I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continue to be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord.
[2:08] The humble shall hear thereof and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
[2:20] They looked unto Him, and were lightened, and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
[2:33] I think we could all say that. We could all have a testimony of that. The angel of the Lord encamps around about those that fear Him, and delivereth them.
[2:45] O taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him. O fear the Lord, all ye His saints. There is no one or lack to them that fear Him.
[2:59] The young lions do lack and suffer hunger, but they that seek the Lord shall not want or lack any good thing. Come, ye children, hearken unto me.
[3:10] I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What man is he that desireth life and loveth many days that he may see good? Keep thy tongue from evil and thy lips from speaking down.
[3:24] Depart from evil and be good. Speak, seek peace, and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are upon their cry.
[3:37] The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry, and the Lord hearth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
[3:51] The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and saith as such as be of a contrite heart, spirit, contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.
[4:08] He keepeth all his bones, not one of them is broken. Evil shall slay the wicked, and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate. The Lord redeemeth the soul of His servants, and none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate.
[4:24] That's my testimony. I'm led to just share some of my life testimony, and just what God did, and how He came through, and did different things throughout my life for the glory of God.
[4:55] So don't look at me, look at God. Look at the one who's able. Father, I pray that you would give me grace to hide behind the cross, that you would be glorified and saved.
[5:14] Lord, what you did in my life is not me, but you. I would not be here. Lord, had you not been good throughout my life.
[5:26] And I thank you for that. In Jesus' name, amen. And I don't know how much, I don't know how long this is going to take or how much to share and how much not to share, and I might just skip some things.
[5:42] But I guess when I look way back, even in my teenage years, I would have reason to not be here had it not been for God.
[5:55] I don't know if I was kind of a rambunctious little guy or what, but in my young years, I rode a tractor over on its side, walked away unharmed.
[6:10] Years later, I fell asleep behind the wheel and woke up just in time to get stopped before concrete cover. Walked away unharmed. Years later again, I hit an ice spot on the road going around a curve, black ice.
[6:29] I had a little chevette chevette, if you know what those things looked like back then. They were kind of narrow and high. I rode that thing once in a while.
[6:40] Walked away unharmed. Not a scratch. God.
[6:50] God. God. Had it not been for his protection, had it not been for some reason he saw, he wanted, he still wasn't finished with me.
[7:06] I grew up in a fairly normal family, I think.
[7:19] I knew my parents loved us and loved each other. Though they were not perfect, no one is. They had their struggle. But I was taught about God.
[7:32] Grew up in an Amish setting. Basically, new order. And in my teenage years, I was baptized and I wasn't, I don't know how much I knew about God at that time.
[7:50] I knew that when I felt led to be baptized, I knew that God was working in me. But I would have to say that it was not very deep and sad to say years later I did get into things that was not God.
[8:12] Until I was around 20 and I was actually planning on leaving home. when I turned 21 back then you weren't on age until you were 21 even in society.
[8:28] But throughout that year God started working in my life to where I knew that that was not the thing to do.
[8:44] And so we were part of a youth group that was not doing very well and I wasn't either. Up until then I didn't realize really God's rich goodness.
[9:05] Yes, I had a few encounters with him with God but not really deep I wanted to turn to Isaiah 55 just a few verses there.
[9:31] Isaiah 55 verse 6 and 7 Seek near the Lord while he may be found call upon him while he is near let the wicked forsake his way the unrighteous man his thoughts and let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon and so I would encourage you especially young people go through the Bible sometime and see how many times it talks about returning to the Lord or even turning to the Lord but one promise that God that I knew and I throughout that year that verse 6 especially seek ye the Lord while he may be found call upon him while he is near just really stood out to me and so yeah
[10:34] God did get a hold of my life and totally changed me but I would still say at that time I was and I'm not sure how to really explain that maybe maybe just kind of a nominal Christian you know life was fairly good and yes I had some convictions that God through meeting with God and so on but it wasn't real I didn't feel it was very deep or I wouldn't have maybe I would have said at that time it was but later on I knew it wasn't when I really encountered God there was a time after I was a Christian or after that time at least when I thought I was a Christian whether I was for sure or not I'm not even sure yet but there was a time later on when God so got a hold of me and I'm kind of running ahead of my schedule here in my notes but there was a time
[11:48] I was reading some books I read the book from Andrew Murray and that threw me upside down it just tore me apart and then another book right after that the school of Christ by T.
[12:11] Alston I've never read those books and I don't know I've shared with people how they tore me apart and I just I mean I saw myself like never before because I saw God like never before I'm kind of running ahead better be careful and follow my notes here I don't know where I'm at but we while going through my 20th year we did change youth groups I did and some of my siblings did and we we we got more serious with God and had some prayer meetings and Bible studies and so on and we didn't we didn't have a name for our group so so the other the people that we the group that we left from called us the goodies
[13:15] I don't know I guess so around 25 so I my brother and I left the New Order Amish joined the beachy Amish church at that time Shady Grove you know where that is it was there in Liffenburg Pennsylvania and not not really that we didn't feel fed at the New Order church we the they preached salvation but I just could not understand after I was born again and walked with God I just could not understand excuse me a little what's the purpose in driving a horse and bugger
[14:24] I could not understand why would you do that if it doesn't do anything to give you any points with God it's not by works and so why drive a horse and bugger and so anyway my brother and I left and joined the beach at church and so that was probably around 25 or so and we're going there for a number of years and there was a young girl that came up to Shady Grove church there we had a family in the church that had a handicapped child and it was a young girl from Chestertown Maryland came up and to help with the child and she was there for about a year and somehow I I didn't open my eyes to her or anything she went home well actually what happened is when she was going to go home my brother and I and her were invited to a wedding in Lancaster
[15:42] County so we took her around to Lancaster County and then she went home with her parents from there on the way down something started happening and I started seeing this young girl ended up getting married a couple years later a year or so later her name was Edna so we were married we were I was 30 just 30 when we were married she was 28 so I was a little older and we were both a little older than some and so that was wonderful I'm sure any young married here you know you're all excited and life is good and so about a year later she ended up going to the doctor we felt she might be pregnant expecting and so she went to the doctor and we were all excited she was and at our age you know we didn't want to wait long and so that was in April of we got married in April of 1980
[17:25] I'm sorry it wasn't that was in June or July of that same year we were all excited about expecting a child and went home from the doctor's office and the dates here I'm not all totally clear on and I'm just kind of guessing on some of these things and so anyway we went home and that afternoon the doctor called and said that we need to come back in right away that the blood test didn't look good and they wanted to do more tests that was beginning a long journey seems like long that nobody wants to go through married married three months or so just in the height of our enjoying each other but but
[18:49] God I've had I wrote that statement in here quite often but God but God I want to read to you Hebrews a few verses Hebrews chapter 12 I don't know where to break in I think I'll just start in verse 1 and read to verse 11 wherefore seeing also we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witness let us lay aside every weight and the sin which does so easy to beset us and let us run with patience the race that is set before us and that race for every single person looks a little different it's not all the same but a race he does set before us looking unto
[19:50] Jesus the author and finisher of our faith who for the joy that was set before him has endured the cross despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God for consider him that endures such contradiction of sinners against himself lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds ye have not yet resisted unto blood striving against sin and you have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as children my son despise not thou the chastening of the Lord nor faint when thou art rebuked of him for whom the Lord loveth he chastened and scourges every son whom he receiveth if you endure chastening God healeth with you as with sons for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not but if you be without chastisement whereof all are partakers then are you bastards and not sons furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we give them reverence shall we not much more much rather be in subjection unto the father of spirits and live for they for a few days chasing us after their own pleasure but he for our profit that we might be partakers of his holiness and
[21:25] I want to just say there if we really want to be partakers of his holiness then he'll give us a vision and he'll give us grace to go through all these chastisements and corrections and rebuke as he says here if our goal is for a holy life then we know we have to go through some of these things now no chasing for the presence seems to be joyous but grievous nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto him unto them which are exercised her by it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness and so so we we went through some things there disappointments weren't sure what's going to happen ended up the doctor said let me just make sure
[22:30] I don't miss something here I guess I don't feel that I really saw the depth of the love of God until then and somehow we we both felt that well let me just say first it was the fastest growing in the kingdom and they only gave her two to three months today and they wanted to start right away with chemotherapy now why and our thought was why would you want to do chemotherapy if you only have two months and live miserable while you are still here so our decision was just and that was strong my wife
[23:33] Edna and so we decided not to go through with that that was another journey the doctors did not like that and they tried and they tried to change our minds so in and out of doctors offices and hospitals she got low lost blood and we needed to go in for blood transfusions a number of times so they wanted to inject into her womb a drug that would develop the baby salons and we chose not to do that so that they could take the baby early and we said no we believe we trust
[24:36] God that he will give us a child as he ceased to and at the terminal whenever he ceased to that was another pressure that we had to go through we just knew he just flatly told us that that will not happen they did not feel Edna would live long enough to carry the child to full term and they were sure she wouldn't and so from that time on it seemed like we were up against doctors all the time and what we felt the Lord directed us and what the doctor wanted was just not the same needless to say in spite of how long the doctors gave her to live nine months later or not eight months or however long it were
[25:47] God give us a healthy child and you probably all saw him day after day cried out to God the child would give us this child full time let God be used this child as he seems to he dedicated that child before he was ever born we're not quite as serious in these days well
[26:47] God is safe again but God but God the righteous cries we've read in psalm 34 and the Lord here delivered them out of all their trouble doesn't say we're not going to go through trouble but he delivers us many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them out out of them all glory to God so we never know you young people you have no idea what life is you don't know and I don't either I don't either my life is not finished yet but to live in such a way that God can fulfill his plan for you and what he has for you
[28:00] God's plans toward his people are on the good and so Jeffrey was born a few months later I don't remember just how long after again Edna got ended up losing blood through the birth and got so low that we needed to go back to the hospital again and then we got more pressure than we ever did she got so low that she didn't lost all consciousness and the doctors almost forced me they told me I'm killing my wife and just all kinds of things but I didn't
[29:06] I didn't care I was not going to be because that's what we decided I literally said after going through that I was at my wits end I didn't know what to do there I was all by myself my wife not conscious anymore and the doctor said she's not going to live through the day if you don't let us do chemotherapy what would that have helped them and I knew she was not going to live through the day unless God in the year there was death written all over her face the blood vessels behind her eyes were busting that another sign close to death there we were I was just I didn't know what was more than to
[30:07] God and we took a tape recorder along with just scriptures and I had that in with just reading scriptures I thought I had that in my notes here somewhere we entered the hospital one afternoon if I can remember right and I'm not quite sure how this is exactly right but if I remember right we went into the hospital one afternoon and I had a scripture written down and I don't know where it's at now but anyway I think I know where it is if I'm not mistaken it's Matthew 8 there
[31:14] I was crying out to God on my face before God with the scriptures a tape just coding the scriptures and this is what was being read Matthew chapter 8 verse 16 and 17 when even was come he brought unto them unto they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils and he cast out the spirits with his word and healed all that were sick that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet saying himself took our infirmities and bare our sicknesses when that was read I don't know what happened something flew into my heart not into my mind but into my heart and I heard God say not an audible voice she will be healed this afternoon you know the saying is that
[32:26] God doesn't hear prayer he hears desperate prayer and I don't know if that I don't really know if that statement is whatever but that is true sometimes he waits till he gets pretty desperate long he says to But when that scripture was raised, I just knew God spoke.
[33:05] I cannot explain to you how. And I cannot even explain why I knew that God spoke. But I knew he did.
[33:18] God knows everything. God knows what we're going through. God knows when we get desperate. That word took a hold of my heart.
[33:40] And I don't know, I've never experienced something quite like that. I knew that the word of God got a hold of me.
[33:51] And not just me getting a hold of the word of God. That afternoon, I'm going to make sure I miss anything here.
[34:13] God was going through everything I was going through with me. Though I didn't know it at the time until he spoke. Doctor still mad at me.
[34:27] Upset. Saying you don't love your wife or you wouldn't let us give her chemotherapy and all that. Around 2 o'clock that afternoon, there was a knock on the door.
[34:43] On the hospital. On the hospital room door. That morning, the nurses came in and wanted to change her bedding.
[34:54] And they had a hoist and got her into the hoist to lift her up to change the bedding. And when they were doing that, she kind of made a groan or something.
[35:07] And I heard the one nurse, they didn't realize I heard it. The one nurse said to the other nurse, why do we ever start? She's not going to make sure the day anymore. But somehow I knew that she was going through.
[35:26] That afternoon, 2 o'clock in the afternoon. When that knock came on the door. She sat up. And almost before I could say come in, she said come in.
[35:42] There was some friends of ours that were very close to us at that time. And she had all kinds of IVs and tubes.
[35:53] And she said, I have to go to the bathroom. And she said, you can't go to the bathroom. She said, I have to go to the bathroom.
[36:05] So we helped her to the bathroom. She came back. Sat on the bed. Doctors, nurses came in and almost fell over.
[36:23] I said, what in the world is going on? And so, it took some of the tubes and stuff off.
[36:42] And she told the nurses, I'm here. And so, now what did the doctors do?
[36:55] The only thing they could do is get us out of there. As soon as we could. And so the next morning, they released us to go home.
[37:11] I walked out of the hospital. No pain. When God promises to be with us, he doesn't care.
[37:34] Sometimes, he waits. I don't know what I would have. I would have never seen the glory of God and the presence of God.
[37:50] So mean, so mean. Even if, I don't, I'm not even sure if I'd have seen what I did. If it wouldn't have been for the doctors. Putting all that pressure on me.
[38:01] Or I just, I have no place to go. I think. Do you like that?
[38:19] Nobody likes that. I have a number of scriptures, but I think I'll just need those for now.
[38:29] Jesus was there. He was real. I really believe the nurses and doctors thought the presence of God.
[38:40] You know. You know.
[38:53] Isn't it awesome? When Jesus was here. He healed people. He cast out devils. He did all that.
[39:05] Miracles after miracles. But he could only be at one place at one time. And that's why he said, it is profitable for me to go.
[39:18] So that I can send the Holy Spirit. And that Holy Spirit is Jesus in us. And he's everywhere. All the time.
[39:34] Eight billion people on this earth. Eight billion some. And if they all cry out for help at one time, he's there.
[39:48] I don't understand that. I don't have to. But that's reality. The Holy Spirit is everywhere. Jesus Christ hears a cry of his people.
[40:01] And he's there. With his spirit. If you love me.
[40:14] Jesus said. You may ask what you will. And it will be done. And I don't understand that's the truth. But I don't want to explain it away just because I don't understand.
[40:37] Anyway, getting back to the experience. They're in the hospital. The next morning, my wife and I together walked out of the hospital. As if she was never sick. For the next year.
[40:48] Every. I forget if it was three, four months. Or six months. Every so often they took tests. No trace. Of leukemia.
[41:02] And then. I don't know. What year for sure. A few years later. There was.
[41:18] And some of you know. What they call Mission Home in Virginia. Brain injured children's home. My wife.
[41:29] Now. Anna. Worked there. And. I don't. It was in the fall. Of that. Well. It was in September. Beginning of September.
[41:41] They gave a program. Mission Home gave a program. In our church. With the brain injured children. And they. They of course. Were involved. And. When.
[41:52] When. They came up. They asked Anna. If. Where she wants to go. And she said. I don't know. I. I don't know anyone here. So. Just put me wherever you want to. Just.
[42:03] Just think of how God. Orchard states things. Way out ahead. We have no idea. I think it does us good sometimes.
[42:17] It just simply does. And just. Just meditate. Just think. Of how God leads us. How God directs. Our steps.
[42:27] And we don't even know he's doing that. Sometimes. Sometimes. We have no idea. We have no idea. So. They. They. They put Anna. And two of the children.
[42:39] There. In our home. Ed. Was perfectly healthy. No problem. They gave the program.
[42:53] The following Friday. Which was September. Around the 11th. Around the 11th. Around the 11th. She started getting leg pain. And. We had no idea.
[43:05] What it meant. We asked for anointing Saturday night. And. It just got worse.
[43:16] And worse. Didn't go to church on Sunday. Sunday night. We finally decided.
[43:26] We have to do something. Now. Again. Just look at God's wisdom. His foreknowledge. His great plan. His goodness. His everything.
[43:37] He controls. Knows what he's doing. From the beginning to the end. And from the end to the beginning. Sunday night.
[43:49] We finally decided. It's time to do something. So we. Called the hospital. And they said. Which. Our local hospital. Was Lewisburg. About eight miles away. And they said.
[44:00] Go right away. Go down to. Hershey Medical Center. That. That was about 70 miles. So when we. We. Ended up going down there.
[44:11] And. At that time.
[44:21] Jeffrey was. Probably. Around two. One. No. One and a half. Or something like that. Anyway. When we got down.
[44:33] They took. Edna. Up. To her room right away. Admitted her. And I was. They. They told me to stay down. And do the paperwork. And I don't know why. I listened to them.
[44:43] But I did. God knows. There was. At times. Before that. That I would just say. No. I'm going up with her. And then I'll come down. And do the paperwork. But they didn't want to let me do that.
[44:54] That time. So I gave in. When I got up. This is. Second or third floor. I don't remember anymore.
[45:06] I heard. The death. Code. Nurses rushing around. Doctors rushing around. Walked down the hall.
[45:19] Was about ready to enter the door. And they wouldn't let me in. They said. You don't want to do that. I think. I think. They were probably. Shocking her at that time. Trying to get her back.
[45:32] Here. What happened is. She had a blood clot in her leg. It left loose. Went to her lungs. Do I understand God?
[45:44] I don't. Here he healed her. Now she's gone. Well.
[45:57] After. After they were finished. Which wasn't long. They left me going. Just. By myself. For a while. Probably. And I don't know.
[46:12] When I walked in. I've heard people say. Well that's normal. But. I don't think it is always. I was just. Taken back. And.
[46:24] I was satisfied. Did I. Yes. I. I lost.
[46:35] The view. I lost. The companion. But when I saw. The smile. On her face. I couldn't. Wish her back. I never.
[46:46] I mean. It. Literally. It was a big smile. It was a big smile. Mm-hmm. Okay.
[46:57] So. Fast forward. Some. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't.
[47:08] Miss too much here. Okay. Okay. So. that was September 13th 1982 are things easy sometimes many are the frictions of the righteous that was one hard year a child a year and a half was on the farm that winter went out we had a dairy farm a few years later we did sell that and went into shed business after Ed and I were married and the hardest thing was to go out in the daylight in the barn and to come in after dark all by yourself with a young child that a father feels so helpless without a wife and a mother and yes there were days
[48:35] I must admit that I was angry at God but I also needed God understanding the pain and so a year later about exactly a year later and this is kind of unique Anna doesn't like this maybe not but she didn't mean anything by it and she knows she didn't she knows I know she didn't but because she was there just the weekend before with those brain-incher children she sent me a little note and the verse was I will be with thee always
[49:36] I will never leave thee never save thee and I took that a little personal not really I didn't at that time much but but it did strike me and and I kept it in my Bible long after we were married somehow I lost it then the goodness of God the mercy of God the faithfulness of God I've said many times and I don't know if I if I can honestly say that I can joy in afflictions and trials and and misunderstandings and all that I I know I can somewhat more than I used to but I believe if we see the reality of the goodness of God and why God takes us through these things and that's why
[50:48] I read Hebrews what I do whom he loves it's a sign that he loves us when we go through Chesky it's a confirmation that he loves us when he takes us through those things by the end of August the next year 1984 I'm sorry I want to back up a little bit here a year later I did make arrangements but what happened then I didn't even I I really kind of lost even the the idea you know track of her or or didn't even think of her hardly even though I had that note in my Bible but then some good friends of ours who worked with Anna down at Mission
[51:48] Home one day he gave me gave me a call and said I just want to put something in your mind I want to just give you some I forget just the words he used but so much that you should think about this girl down here and and so about a year later we made arrangements to see each other wrote some letters a couple letters before that was September and by December the 17th we were married Jeff was then two and a half two and two and a half three years old and again we're married for a while not all that long found out she's expecting and throughout her pregnancy she had some problems and ended up at the doctor's office and where she couldn't couldn't keep food down or
[53:22] I think that's the only way and she went to the doctor and the doctor said well you have to drink just drink and she said well I can try but it won't stay down so we went home and she tried and it wouldn't stay down so finally the doctor came came back in and did some more tests and and finally he knew that something drastically is wrong and ended up going with us to the hospital and pushed the wheelchair into the hospital for her I think he was pretty concerned by then he didn't act before here she had toxin and her blood pressure just got high so she ended up there we were in Lewisburg hospital and they didn't they didn't want her there so they sent her back down to Hershey where we were before my first wife and the doctor the local doctor there our family doctor came in and made a statement well that was the one that took us in anyway he made the statement well there was two together so the one it was the one the one that pushed the wheelchair was not the one that made the statement but the doctor that we mainly saw made the statement that you're enough to give anybody a heart attack because of all that he had to go through I guess and so ended up in the hospital what was it about
[55:06] I don't know in three months three months close to three months before her due date and we were in the hospital they tried and tried tried everything to get her blood pressure down but nothing helped so it was finally they said we're either it's either losing the mother or losing the baby if we don't do something now or both they said and so they gave her all kinds of medication and she had hot flashes and all kinds of things so they ended up taking the baby 11 weeks Elizabeth we called her had a different name I feel we went through all we did we decided to call her
[56:08] Elizabeth so that was my second child Anna's first weighed two pounds went down to one pound nine ounces before she started gaining today she's a mother of six children in and out of the hospitals again she was in the hospital for seven weeks in her and then they brought her up to Lewisburg I think for a couple more weeks in the hospital there closer to us it's amazing how at least at that time Hershey was a very good hospital and they encouraged us which we had 70 miles to go back and forth they encouraged us to come down as much as we can even every day if we can
[57:14] I forget if we went down every day or every other day but so that was our life wow had a little child for a long time little baby fast forward God has blessed us she lived God blessed us naturally financially through that time a number of years later we started the shed business and that ended up being real good grew kept growing and in fact almost too fast for good put a lot of stress on us and I don't know why but for some reason my wife and I threw the stress of it all I guess and everything we had it about what was it 18 years or so my wife and I kind of made this commitment together that if
[58:21] God would send someone to buy it we would take that as an indication that we were supposed to sell it didn't go very long until someone came well we're going to back up off now so we made arrangements he gave us a price and we come up with a price and we made arrangements and sold the business went back to farming at least kind of in a smaller way just cash cropping bought a farm there was old buildings there tore all the old buildings down built a new house new barn new shop implement shed just a setting that we just I never lived anywhere where I enjoyed it more than there just what we wanted nice big house had a lot of company we we always hosted a lot of people
[59:31] I don't know why but five years later I don't know how to explain it but I got this sense in my deep down in that I always was a Pennsylvania man I love Pennsylvania I never thought I'd move out of Pennsylvania and especially love where we lived the last while there but I got this sense that God is upsetting something in my heart just not quite at rest the way it was I don't know what all it was and I can't explain exactly how I felt but just maybe a bit of uncomfortableness and you know when we go through those things we have to know why we go through them in fact
[60:35] I really appreciated the worship this morning I forget what he said but it made me realize that what we go through and even in that time of kind of unsettledness and so on we need to know what's going on God wants to speak to us we need to have ears to hear spiritual ears whether is this God or is it the enemy the spirit of God or the spirit of the enemy and anyway through that time we were asked and I'm fast forwarding here there's a lot of things happening in the middle of that church change some and so on in search of truth sometimes again we get off a little bit and I don't know I still believe God had his hand in everything even though we didn't see it at that time we were asked if we would consider moving out to
[61:47] Trinidad to help plant church yeah wow looks like a big big thing so we we decided to make a trip came out to Montana one time for fellowship meetings I think I think that was in 2008 if I'm not wrong some of those years I'm not totally sure anyway we went down drove down from Wyoming all the way out coming out 80 and all the way out through Wyoming everything was green and up to Montana it was still green and back down through Wyoming it was still green nice and green started down through Colorado and it started changing just a little bit by the time we got to Trinidad it was as brown as could be God knew what he was doing we drove through Trinidad didn't spend a lot of time there drove out of Trinidad towards home and about eight miles out of
[63:04] Trinidad there was a sign farm for sale so I stopped wrote the number down and took off and went on I don't know how long it went I think we might have went 50 60 miles before there was a word said I think I knew what Anna was thinking and she probably knew what I was thinking and finally she said she thought of the scripture in Isaiah where it talked about Jesus there is no beauty in him to behold she sure didn't think there was any beauty in Trinidad and this is how easy our minds can fit on us I literally started wondering and conniving almost in my mind how I could get out of this get down in
[64:19] I knew I knew that if I do I'm going to miss a blessing there was absolutely nothing in us that wanted to move to Trinidad and I think God just closed our eyes to everything that was there that had a little bit of beauty so that there's absolutely nothing in us that we want to go there so it's nothing but him and we went back home after going about 50-60 miles we finally did start talking again that was I think in June in October we went back out and Phil had just moved there that summer and that fall Samuel and Bettina got married there in
[65:20] Trinidad and so of course we were invited to the wedding and went back out for that and also to look around more and so on and so then we took Jeremy and Michael along our two sons anyway we went home and we said everything's brown there's hardly any trees there it just looked aside I don't know anyway when we went back out in October Jeremy and Michael said you said there's no trees here there's a lot of trees around I don't know what we saw or there's trees around we said this is not near what you made it to be made it out to be and literally it did look different I don't know why so we went home when we went back out in October for that wedding we looked around stopped and talked with neighbors around that farm that was still for sale and I don't know what happened but God totally absolutely changed almost like 180 degrees changed my heart to where I just literally fell in love with those people and when I say fell in love with them all I knew is that God is putting a deep love in my heart for those people
[66:51] I didn't know them I didn't know a soul there we talked with a few asked about farming and we didn't know if we were going to build cheds or if we were going to farm we had no idea what it was going to be the irrigation system seemed I mean at 60 years old I'm supposed to learn how to do this it looked impossible so after that after being there and talking with people and my heart totally changed we went home made arrangements called the realtor made arrangements and finally ended up buying the farm in December of 2009 we moved out at least in part not near everything just took some things out stayed there until February
[68:03] I'm kind of skipping over because I see the time is here to close stayed there until February and then made plans to go back and have sale we had a line of equipment had a farm to sell and went back to make sale advertised for the sale and everything I have some script I just need to move on so as we made sale as we made arrangements advertised and got the equipment ready for sale people came to look at the equipment and they would ask you could just see the expression on their face what came over you what are you doing are you sure you know what you're doing and some would ask literally some questions and others would just you'd see the question all over their face and
[69:12] I never answered their question this was not me this was just what God did I wouldn't answer their question I would just say God is good God is good I'm sure that puzzled them they probably thought something went wrong with you God knows how to prepare us for what he wants out of us people kept coming again and again I would just say God is good the day the sale came February the 17th I think if I'm right sun came out that morning ended up 70 degree weather in
[70:18] February February is always kind of a dangerous month in Pennsylvania to have a sale you could have a snow blizzard and we did just a few days before that 70 degree weather crowd came huge crowd about the only sale around there that time of the month and everybody wanted to come equipment brought more than it was worth and so after the sale someone walked up to me and said well what do you think I just said God is good he said I would say God is good too I'd have a sale in February in 70 degree weather and the equipment is bringing more than it's worth I said no no that's not it at all it's what's going on inside not what's going on outside
[71:18] I don't know if you understood or not I want to just say there is no greater fulfillment and no greater joy and no greater peace than living in the way of God giving up giving up our own will for the sake of God's will I literally knew there was nothing in me and I believe that was even God that wanted to move to Colorado but the blessing and the fulfillment and the peace and the joy was beyond words
[72:19] I cannot explain to you why don't we just give up more and quicker sometimes we'd save ourselves a lot of trouble but have I learned no I have to learn again and I have to learn again to give up was it without trial was it without trouble no when we went back to make sale after the sale we had two vehicles two trucks 24 foot gooseneck trailer and a flatbed truck and a small other truck
[73:22] Chevy truck with a 16 foot trailer loaded to the limit never never got we wanted to leave that afternoon next day after the sale in the afternoon and it just took longer and longer finally I don't know what time it was was it 11 o'clock at night we finally got started out through Pennsylvania out through Ohio after a while I see this vehicle come up alongside I don't know what the Ohio name is for Pennsylvania for DOT but anyway DOT drove alongside us for a long time after a while the lights went on oh no and we were overloaded the woman
[74:29] DOT she stops us at 10 o'clock in the morning and there we were at 5 o'clock in DOT I don't know was that Thursday or Friday I don't know probably Friday never left Ohio until 5 o'clock in DOT and then she said you're not driving this truck without CDL you're not moving it off the spot well her time her shift was over that's why she finally left the school at 5 o'clock now what do you do called back or somehow we were in contact with Simeon and Elizabeth back in Pennsylvania and Simeon said well I have an uncle living right close to there I think he would be willing to come and take the vehicle
[75:33] I told him if someone would take the vehicle out to the Indiana line I'd take it from there and so that's what we did he came and drove the vehicle to the Indiana line across the line and I took over but because of that I was in the evening we finally I don't know yeah because of that we never got out to Trinidad until after midnight Sunday morning and on the way out we went out 1-6 and there was some real sharp curves on that road no sleep and we had two vehicles the boys were driving one and my wife and I were driving the other one we had about an 85 horse tractor on and just a number of things had made a box to put all our tools in about a 4x4 box as long as the trailer with the trailer and had that filled up and well what what happened then the lady the DOT lady that stopped us she called the equipment dealer to find out the weight of that tractor she wanted to know how much weight we had because there was no scales around there and so we were within the limit with the tractor but she had no idea what was in that box that was solid metal in that box and so later on after we were in
[77:22] Indiana we did weigh and we were overweight but she didn't realize it because she just had the tractor weight so coming out through Colorado I I was not sleeping but I was not I was not alert either coming around one of those curves all of a sudden I realized the curve was dark of course and I I literally thought we're going we're just going to roll over I tried to quit get it back on and stones were flying I just thought any moment that things were going to roll but God but God kept it on the roof got out after midnight went to church next morning that next
[78:36] Saturday we decided to have prayer meeting Saturday night right from the beginning winter prayer meeting that was now between Christmas and New Year we stopped actually literally we did stop but was that not that time I don't know for sure maybe it wasn't that time we left oh my time the times kind of run into each other but anyway when we we left between Christmas and New Year and that must have not been right after I don't know I can't remember anymore but I knew I know we got out there between Christmas and New Year and so the first Saturday night was after New Year and Phil comes to prayer meeting just all worked up because of Brother Gary he wasn't the brother then he was a hermit he was a drunk and in his drunken stupor on New
[79:41] Year's he evidently the dog did something to anger him and he went up and shot his dog and then he came up to Phil and asked him with his gun and everything just in a prinsy and asked Phil to come down and bury his dog for him so Phil comes to prayer meeting and Phil asked for prayer more for himself I think but as we began to pray the burden of God came on us again like I've never experienced anything before I cannot even explain I cannot begin to explain and I think I'm not the only one God was working in all our hearts a tremendous burden it was like I'm standing beside myself watching God love a person that I've never seen in my life he's crying out for his soul and salvation the love of God is so real the presence of God is so real and in our praying
[81:04] God was hearing our prayer he was working at the other end he was working in Gary's life Gary was in town and had to pass the church house to go home and on his way home as he was passing the church house which some of you have heard this story God spoke to him and said now it's your opportunity if you don't do it now you'll never do it it shook him to the core he turned into the church house parked he could not get himself to come in took off again from home heard the same voice turned around again came back finally had enough nerve to open the door and come in knelt down in the front row of chairs that's where he still sits today we were still praying crying out for his deliverance he heard us
[82:24] I did not know he's there I think I don't know I never saw him coming never knew he was there finally praying kind of stopped and went and sat down and someone tapped me on the shoulder and said do you know he's here I didn't know I didn't even look at the front bench I was just in the presence of God so real so we started just began worshipping in just the presence of God so sweet so real finally the worship kind of stopped and slowed down and I and Phil says he went up to some of those things just seemed like a dream and things kind of intermingled and God was working in all of us and so I can only say what
[83:25] God was working in me but finally I felt God asking me to go up and you were beside him I did put my arm around him started praying for him and he started crying out and trying to pray and then he'd weep and try to pray and weep knelt there for a while just praying for him finally I got up went back sat down again everything was quiet for a while and he gets up and says I'm a changed man I give a lot to experience that again you think I had to question whether it was
[84:28] God bringing us there or not not at all anymore I just knew I knew God did that confirm that we're in his world I tell you what our expectations were high of God but I have to say that ever since that or soon after that there started peace there were people that started coming and to this day we are still praying for the salvation of some of those people and haven't seen them come through I wish I could say you do I wish with all my heart they would come through but one thing sure you cannot manufacture anything it has to be the spirit of God living by the will of another is real is real living by the will of another living by the will of God in our search of truth
[86:21] God is faithful and comes through see you right and so I want to just say is it worth giving up your will for another it is absolutely worth it it is absolutely worth giving up our will for God's will for the sake of Christ but even more than that it is also worth giving up our will for our brothers and sisters and when we give up our will for the sake of Christ it is easier to give up our will for the sake of our brothers and sisters
[87:23] I just thought of the scripture I did not come near all the scriptures but there is a scripture that I'd really like to read if I can find it it's either in Ephesians or Colossians and I can't get the beginning of it but here I'm pretty sure there's another verse that I wanted but this is I'm just going to read this in Colossians chapter 3 verse 12 says put on therefore as the elect of God holy beloved vows of mercy kindness humbleness of mind meekness long suffering forbearing one another and forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against anyone even as
[88:38] Christ forgave you so also do you and above all these things put on charity or love which is a bond of perfection that is altogether possible and made real and easy if we have given up for the sake of Christ I would love to say in closing whoever is moderating here if we could sing at least a verse of fully surrender and all divine for the home to take you